My books has arrived. Can't say how i relish those. Pages of knowledge waiting to be devoured. Hahaha. As it sits politely in my shelve, i can't wait to pick Cornelius Ryan The Last Battle out of the rack. General Creighton Abrams said that he read this book. He knows that the Germans have lost the battle in World War II yet they kept fighting to the last drop. I'd like to tinker with the psychology of defeat. What's it like to have lost everything that you have, and now the state was asking you to lose yourself to a defeat? Speak of patriotism in defense of motherland all you want, but even as i haven't thumb a single page of the book, the notion is outlandish, absurd to the max. It's not practical. Ain't nothing going to change when somebody has more will and violence to conquer you. How could someone feel that by sacrificing one's life, it has somehow advanced a cause? Like the suicide bomber in Vietnam, General Abrams used to think. If you ask me to bomb myself to promote a particular dogma, well thanks but no thanks; i guess i'll do it a different way. Label me coward all you want, but life is given to be cherished and if some cause is promoted through violence and it just so happen that i could stop it by killing myself, then let God take our breath Himself, for i ain't taking a step towards it.